If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?
Cormac McCarthy (No Country for Old Men)
Rules are norms. Norms within a particular organization or within society. Sometimes they are explicit and purposely written and sometimes they are implicit and emerge by themselves. In this case, rules can be social conventions.
Pocket manual about rules
I'm going to give you a surprise: rules have been created by others. They have been created by others for you and others to follow. That is to say: they do not exist in the Cosmos as a result of a superior design. They exist because some humans have created them for others to follow (those others may include them or not).
If the rules have been created by others, that means that you can create rules... Interesting.
Rules have to be followed. That's what a rule is all about. False. Try again.
First law of rules: rules must be questioned.
Many people live their lives following rules of all kinds, from professional to social and family just because they are not even open to the fact that rules are norms created by others and those norms can be questioned. They can and should be questioned because those who created them are like you: imperfect, so maybe they were wrong.
I love rules and I love following them, unless that rule is stupid. Anna Kendrick.
Second law about rules: the relevant question to ask yourself when faced with a rule is whether it is good and you are interested in following it or not.
A rule can make sense and be very useful, the opposite, or be in the middle of both options. The important thing is to question it (first law) and decide if it makes sense, is fair and is useful (second law).
If it is not a fair and useful rule for you and for others, you are probably facing a bad rule. Why would you follow a bad rule? Because rules are followed, right? No. Rules are questioned. Can you think of any mistakes made because you followed bad rules?
Third law about rules: if a rule is not good you can follow it only partially, break it or create your own rule to replace it.
Break the rule and don't follow it at all. That is one option. Follow it only as far as it seems sensible and useful, ignoring the parts that are bad. Or you can even aim to redefine the game: create your own rule, replace the old one, and now play your game, not the one the other invented.
You can do all of that. Another surprise.
Fourth law of rules: actions have consequences. Cost-benefit analysis of not following the rule.
Once you have questioned the rule, asked yourself whether it makes sense to follow it or not and projected the consequences of totally or partially breaking it or trying to replace it with your own rule, it all comes down to a cost-benefit analysis.
Actions have consequences and you as a responsible person accept to be the owner of your actions and take responsibility for the consequences of those actions.
What are the negative consequences of not following the rule? What are the benefits? Those are the questions that will give everyone a different result and therefore should invite you to a different action.
By following this method you will realize that many times a rule only has power because you believe in it. If you stop believing in it, it does not.
Think about it.
How many rules are you following today because you believe that the proper thing about rules is to follow them - like dogma - that you could stop following without any consequence because the force of those rules is simply that you believe in following them and you don't even question not following them?
I hope you are surprised. Many rules cease to have any effect the moment you question them.
For the rest: cost-benefit analysis.
If you are thinking that this is all very well, but that the rules exist to maintain order - and order is good, surely -, I would ask you what order and for whom it is maintained. Maybe it's to keep you in order so that the order of others remains unchanged and you don't disturb it. At your expense. And to their benefit.
Corollary: not all rules are bad, in fact many are very good. I don’t invite you to break any of them. I invite you to follow the four laws, to start using this process, to question them with critical and not herd thinking, and to act in the way you consider more consistent based on your cost-benefit result.
To follow the rules or not, even to make your own rules, is a degree of freedom that you have both professionally and personally. Surprise. You thought it was closed, but it's open.
Once you explore that possibility, original things can happen.
I leave you a homework assignment: draw in a two-column quadrant "follow rules" and "question and sometimes break/create their own rules" the names/roles of ten people you find interesting. See in which column there are more. I'll start: postal worker and Martin Luther King. Soldier defending an orphanage in a war zone and a thief.
José Fortes - La Forja
josefortes@substack.com